iLaunch works
The Onion reported back in March that Apple Unveiled New Product-Unveiling Product called iLaunch
The iLaunch runs Keynote-formatted presentations in high definition through a built-in projector while displaying a 3-D rotating image of the product. Voice-recognition software, Apple’s most advanced to date, can recite a speech highlighting the features of the device while injecting several clever digs at competitors. Should a product demonstration experience a glitch or malfunction, the iLaunch boasts a complex algorithm that can automatically produce humorous and distracting quips.
Described in its patent filing as a "hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility," the iLaunch is powered by Intel dual-core processors optimized to calculate a product’s gravitas. Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch.
"If you want to condition the public to liken your product to the telephone and the internal combustion engine in importance, that’s now possible with iLaunch," Jobs said. "And it’s so easy, even an intern can use it."
Although the Onion report generated some buzz in the blogsphere, few people in the industry have actually witnessed the power of iLaunch. Until a month ago, that is.
2 weeks after iPhone’s release, data were in.
Lightspeed Research surveyed 39,000 people on its US online panel in the days following the launch of the device on 29 June - and the research findings are staggering.
Nearly 90 per cent of respondents have heard of the device.
Thirty-two per cent of those surveyed who do not currently own an iPhone stated that they do intend to purchase one… nearly half of those who would like to own an iPhone stated that the benefits of having music, movie, internet and wireless all in one was the top reason.
Everything worked as Jobs promised:
"Do you want to know what the surprise of this unveiling is?" said Jobs to the eagerly nodding crowd. "The iLaunch itself generated this entire presentation, as well as this very surprise."
Those who wish to empower themselves with iLaunch will have to wait, until after Apple releases "iPhone 2" and every other Jobs branded products in the line.
Even amid fevered speculation, Apple was typically mum before the launch product’s launch, and Mac rumor websites failed to predict any major details about the new offering, other than the fact that it was going to "change everything" and "be huge."
Shortly after Jobs’ address, Microsoft announced that they are working on a similar product, the Launch-O, due to debut in 2009.